Thursday, 27 January 2011

You want this, do you?

An entry from a blog I wrote a few months ago, but which I thought was relevant to this. Plus I'm too tired to write a new entry, lol.

Something has been playing on my mind the last few weeks, something that, really, has always been there, but had faded in more recent times.

One night a short while ago, I was speaking on the phone to a friend, who asked me what I'd been up to lately. So I told him: nothing, except for spending 80-90% of the day confined to my bed. He laughed, replying that he'd love to be able to spend all day in bed.

Ha. Such total ignorance angers me. If it was from a person who knew nothing about me, didn't know I was ill, OK, understandable, but from someone I've known for years? I tried to control my ire, but put him straight with something along the following lines:

"OK, so, you'd like to be lying in bed having to wear an eye mask because any light, even that through closed curtains is like knives to your eyeballs, your head throbs with such pain you think your skull my implode and feel so weak that you can barely even lift your arm an inch? You'd really like that, would you?"

As you can imagine, that somewhat had him choking on his words, and to his credit he was apologetic and very considerate and, dare I say it, kind thereafter. But still, it grates on me that even people I've known for years, who are aware of many of the details of my condition, can still make such truly annoying and yes, hurtful remarks, undermining my suffering and thinking I'm somehow having the time of my life indulging in total sloth.

That's certainly one sin I won't be going to hell for. Much of the time, I feel I'm already there.

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